The future.

Everyone asks me these days who I want to be and where I want to go. Every time I give the same answer, "I don't know". But I do know. I want to be someone you could fall in love with and I want to go wherever you're going because to be honest, your arms feel like home to me and I don't want to be alone tonight.

Scurrrrred.

I'm scared. Of what? Of many things. I'm scared about having these feelings for someone. It's been a hot minute since I've had real feelings for anyone and even though I had real feelings before, they weren't anything like the feelings I have now. These are completely new and foreign to me and I'm still trying to get used to them and it scares me. Distance scares me. The fact that the distance has such a strong effect on me scares me even more. Even when I'm with him, I'm thinking about the distance we'll face all summer and that scares me a whole lot right now. I'm scared that my feelings are much stronger than his, that I like him much more than he likes me. I know this thought is silly and probably, hopefully not true, but it still scares me. Most of all, I'm scared to lose him. I don't want to lose him. I like what we have and I like him a whole lot and to be honest, I don't want it to end. I'm scared, but I realize I'm lucky to be scared of these things because it means I've found a good one and I can't forget that.

It's Been a While.

I feel like there is a common theme with my recent (or not very recent since it's been over a year) posts. It's been a hot minute since I've written anything on here. I used my blog as a place to vent and talk about anything at all and this past year, I'm still venting and talking about anything, but in my bland college ruled black notebook. It's one of the ways I calm down and unwind at the end of the day. You'll find me laying in bed and writing in my notebook every night.
So, take no offense to me not writing on my blog.. It's just easier to write in a notebook and more calming than the computer. But I do miss this thing and I still have a lot to talk about, so I'm going to make an effort to put my thoughts on paper and on my blog.
On  that note, HELLO AGAIN! I can't wait to keep writing.

FML.

Age-old Question.

CAN YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR EXES?



My opinion? Hell tha frick ya. I'm best friends with two of mine. Like, best friends. But one of those relationships is getting a little complicated. Yes, we both still have feelings for each other. No, they are not as strong as before. We sort of gave it another mini-try and it didn't go too poorly. But I think we both know that it probably won't work again. My life motto? If it didn't work the first time, It probably won't work the second, third or fourth time. So I think I have to follow my motto here. The tricky part is finding that good spot  in the relationship where you can be friends with a little bit of feelings on the side. Our relationship is definitely in the grey area, but we're slowly but surely figure it out. Not saying it's going to be easy by any means. Once we figure it out, I'll be in friendship bliss. We'll see.